In My Brain

Jessica Alba Outs Me, Ross

Last week at the Teen Choice Awards, Jessica Alba won the "Female Hottie" award. In her little acceptance speech, she attempted to lash-out at me. Yes, that's right. I am the Ross she lashed out at.

To all of you who didn't see her little tirade, here it is:
"Ross didn't love me. I was pigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb. Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now!"

Well, I'm lookin'.
Now look, I know you are very attractive - everyone knows that. But back in the day, like you said, you were buck-toothed and cross-eyed. And it was YOU who had a crush on me. You said, "Hey Ross, I promise to kiss you if you pick me for your team." And as I recall, I DID pick you. There was never a stipulation that said I had to pick you first. So, I actually lived up to my side of the agreement, despite all the angst you've been carrying around for these many years. Also, you sucked at baseball. You struck out every single time you went up to bat. Wait, you did hit it once - backwards! And then, you were doing cartwheels in the outfield the whole game and stepping on bees and sucking your thumb. I was yelling at you that one time to catch the ball, but you weren't paying attention. It knocked you right in the head. We lost the game because of you! But I guess you were fortunate. I think that hit to the head uncrossed your eyes, right?

And your mad at me?! You sold away your first kiss to be on a baseball team. Yikes!

Now you're all grown up, and living the successful life in Hollywood. Congratulations. I've enjoyed watching you in some of your mildly successful films. Like the Fantastic Four films which were kinda good. "Honey" which was quite bad. Sin City which was pretty good. And the old Dark Angel series which was pretty okay. Oh, and you did pretty good in Entourage too.

I'm sorry you're been mad at me for kissing you and then putting you on my baseball team, thus fulfilling the details of the promise. Maybe if you weren't the worst baseball player in class, I would have picked you sooner.

And Jessica, if you're so hot, how come they casted you as The INVISIBLE Girl? Huh? Answer me that!

On Social-Networking

I finally realized why I don't really get or understand social-networking. And the reason is this - at heart, I'm anti-social. Now, I'm not your textbook anti-socialite. I'll talk to someone, heck, I'll talk to anyone. And I can be loud and obnoxious. But when I'm in an environment with A LOT of people, I completely shut down. If I'm in a room with like 20+ people, I usually end up walking around trying to look busy until the event ends.

Enter online Social-Networking - lots of people, and always on. I guess there's just too much for me to focus on. Too many people - something like this. I don't know. Doesn't make sense really. Maybe it does.

Bumper Sticker

I just thought of a great bumper sticker or tshirt slogan for a Seismologist.

EARTHQUAKES ROCK MY WORLD.

Will that be Credit or Debit? Huh?

For at least the last 10-15 years or so, we've been able to walk into any grocery store, swipe our debit card, and buy groceries. So how come people still don't get it?

A couple of weeks ago, I was in line, and the guy in front of me couldn't figure it out. Now, I understand swiping your card the wrong way or something, upside-down or the stripe facing the wrong way, but other than that, it's all straight forward. And this guy was taking forever. It was really weird. It's not like it's a new technology or anything. Cutting edge retinal-scan (which still wouldn't be confusing), but the guy took at least 5 minutes to get it going.

So I'm waiting there, and the guy finally finishes up. I step forward and get ready to have my items scanned, and the clerk goes, "Oh sorry. You'll have to go to another line. I'm closed."

What!?! I've been waiting behind this guy for over 5 minutes, and NOW you tell me? What the heck?!
And the guy closes down and walks off as I stare at him dumbly.

So I go to another line, and I'm the third person in line. And once again, the person at the register can't figure out how to use the debit card slider thingy. The night was kinda dumb.

..

How can you not know how to use the debit card machine slider thingy? At Safeway, enter your phone number, slide your card, enter your pin,  say YES, I want money back, or NO I do not want money back. Then when it says, "Is this Amount Correct" press YES. And you're done.

.... That was kind of a dumb post. Sorry.

Heterosexual Parade

How come there are no Heterosexual Parades!?
There's Homosexual Parades, with Gay Pride and all this -  entire parades dedicated to one's sexual orientation, or in the case of the bisexual crowd, orientations.

But how come no Hetero parade? And what's More, How Come No Hetero Flag?!?!! The gays took the rainbow - how come they get the rainbow? What's up with that!? Lousy bastards! =)

But we heteros need to unite under some kind of banner. There have been those who have tackled this topic already, like this guy (who created a black and white flag to contrast the rainbow one, which, Ha-Ha, way to be the exact opposite, but come on, it's not creative and it looks like a prison uniform).

Hmmm...perhaps I will make it my mission to design a heterosexual flag. And I won't do it out of hate or anything like that, but just to make a banner that says, "I only have sex with chicks," or "I only have sex with dudes." Will it be politically oriented for the conservative group? Maybe. Could it be used as an anti-gay protest tool? I hope not. Will it be funny and/or neat and cool? Man I hope so. Otherwise, what's the point?!

Okay. I'm gonna need to think about this. I've got a lot of REAL work to do you know, so this might take some time. Also, I can be kinda lazy some times.
  

Posting stuff and Things

So I helped out at VBS a little bit today. Not too much. A little bit. But while there, I was able to talk with a few people I haven't talked to in awhile, mainly Logan - who lived with us for almost 2 years, and then I barely spoke to him after he moved out, and Bonnie and Hilary, Pamela, and Tami Manchester who recently just started a MySpace page. I also talked a bit to good old Megan and a bit to her friend Allegra, who I kinda know, but not really.

Yes, I have a MySpace page. But I'll be honest - I don't really get the whole MySpace thing. It's like a high school yearbook that you can constantly sign. I know it's really popular, but I don't get it, and it's ugly. Though, thanks to Mike Industries, you can improve on things quite a bit. Anyway, I like to go on there and make really obnoxious comments about things to people. But I don't get on very often. If you look, you can see 1 whole year of comments on my page. Pathetic, and yet - who cares.

So, Tami encouraged me to start writing on my blog again. I've been focusing all my attention on THIS BLOG - which most people I'm sure will find quite boring. But Tami put the compliments on pretty thickly and telling me how funny I can be and junk, and yeah - I think I can be kinda funny, and irreverant of course. So, in an effort to talk more about junk that's in my brain (you like that - that reference to the name of the blog - clever huh. Damn clever!), I'm going to start writing here more. And you owe it all to Tami Man...

Dog

Our family is currently discussing the purchase of a new dog. But not just any dog - a tiny dog. In fact, a permanently tiny dog. Teacup terriers or micro puppies as they are sometimes called. These dogs weigh about 1.6 oz's when you buy them, and can cost up to $3200.00! That's just under $2K per ounce. They are roughly the size of a soda can (see below).

I've always wanted a dog. A REAL DOG mind you, not a hamster.

Let me tell you a little tale.
In junior high and high school, I LOVED music, and dreamed of going to a rock concert. But alas, I was never allowed to go. My senior year in high school, I went to my very first concert - but it was with my girlfriend, and it was Richard Marx.

That's right, I said it - Richard F'ing Marx. Dreaming for years of going to see Metallica, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Van Halen, or Iron Maiden, and the first one I get - Richard Marx.

So, now we're back to the dog. Years of dreaming about getting a dog - a big dog - a boxer, or a labrador, a bulldog; and now, possibly getting a dog that could be carried away by a small pigeon.

I'm not sure what's going to happen. Having a dog would be fun. We'll see. We'll probably get it.

I've asked if the dog comes with a little handbag for carrying - Paris Hilton-esque. Preferably one that has sparkles on it. That would make me look really rad at all the soccer games. Still looking into that.

However, I did confirm that they will send a tool for removing my testicles.

On Recent Events

Haven't posted in awhile, and I can see people are pretty upset.
We've had an interesting week.
A week ago Sunday, Kelly and I flew to Vegas for a photography conference.
We had a good time. Met some new people, saw some speakers, got some good deals. We saw "Mystere" which was quite weird. Good though I think. Some impressive acrobatics.

I was supposed to get together with a buddy of mine, but it didn't pan out. Jerk! (Just kidding Ivan even though you're not reading this. I know you could easily beat me up if you wanted.)

So, here's the last day.
I'm in the Men's room, finishing up, and I go to wash my hands. There's a janitor type guy in there. To be nice, he hands a guy a clean paper towel, guy takes it, no big deal. Another guy washes his hands, an asian guy, and promptly refuses the paper towel, and quickly exists the bathroom. The janitor is not pleased. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. I shake my head, shrug my shoulders, and begin washing my hands. This was his cue to begin. And the janitor starts going off on this guy. Now, his tirade is in spanish, I think, maybe portugese, but he goes off on the asian guy who refused the paper towel, because 2 other guys took the paper towel and were grateful. This goes for two minutes or so. The point of his speech? The only point he made in english - "fucking chinese." That's right. "Fucking Chinese!" Not sure if the guy was Chinese or not. I'm sure it's a broad term to apply to all asians, but however you look at it, the guy has definite opinions about asian people who visit Vegas.

That afternoon, around 2pm or so, I realized I was missing my credit card. Fortunately, it was found at a restaurant about a mile away. So I ran over there, and walked swiftly back. Got back to the hotel at 3:15, and quickly made our way to the airport. We checked our luggage and waited in security lines for over 1 hour. We got to our plane at 4:50. We were among the 10 last people to make it on our plane which was scheduled to leave at 4:45.

We arrive safely in San Jose and anxiously await the reunion with our children. We pick them up, but disaster has already struck. Sofia had slid down a metal pole and sliced her leg wide open on the decorative metal leaves at the base of the pole. 3+" wide, about 1/2" deep. It needed lots of stitches. We spent 3.5 hours at the ER and then came home, about 11:30pm.

One hell of a way to end a trip.

Sofia is doing better now, though she still can't think of even looking at her wound. Walking isn't a problem though.

Anyway. That's the latest.

Goodbye Patty

On December 30th at 9:50pm, our dear Grammy Patty passed away. We were at her side until 8:40 that same evening. We were fortunate to say our goodbyes. Our hearts of course go out to her children Gail and Gary.

Patty was an amazing woman; so kind, thoughtful, generous, loving. She will be missed.

What a way to end the year.

Happy New Year to everyone out there.

Goodbye 2006 - Personal Reflection

This year was a very interesting, and hectic one for our family.

Isabella:
In September, Bella started first grade. That's huge. And she recently turned 6; I can't believe how much she's grown-up. And she's become quite the reader. She is really excelling which is great to see. We've enjoyed working with her on her homework; from spelling to reading to math. Bella enjoyed her 2nd year playing soccer. She stayed with a younger group this year which was quite helpful. And she enjoyed scoring several goals during the season, including 2 games in which she had a hat-trick. She is a loving, kind, patient, and thoughtful little girl. I'm so proud of her.

Sofia:
Sofi turned 3 this year. She's an emotional creature, and still has many outbursts of anger and frustration. But she's gotten much better in the last couple months. We continue to work on that. In September, Sofi started Preschool. She really enjoys it and has adjusted to it well. Sofi is a real joy. Sassy, funny, thoughtful, sweet, great at sharing, and loves her family. She has become a very talented artist as well, able to spend hours with paper and a set of markers. She has also gotten very sufficient at using the computer, and is able to launch Firefox and get into a number of her favorite websites without assistance.

Kelly:
Kelly had an amazing year. In February of 2006 she attended the wedding faire and got tremendous attention there. And during the year, she shot somewhere around 30 weddings, plus family portraits and engagement sessions. It was her first year marketing herself and she was very successful. We know 2007 will be even better. We're also going to have more systems in place to increase her efficiency so everything will go faster and smoother in 2007. No surgies for Kelly this year, which was nice. But it was rough maintaining her pain management, especially during her busy season. We're hoping she'll be able to focus on her physical health the first half of 2007 so the wedding season will be much smoother. Kelly has really enjoyed going on fieldtrips with Isabella and her school and doing the yearbook.

Ross:
I kept very busy this year. Business continued to thrive throughout the year, as I established long-term relationships with some new clients and completed a variety of single jobs, mainly identities and websites, for a variety of companies. And, I was able establish a new brand for our church, The Coastlands', youth program called The Nation. I was also priviledged to work with pastor and author Daniel Brown on the redesign of his book, "The Power of Family," as well as the rebranding and repurposing of Commended to The Word which is due to launch in early 2007.

My sister, Kendra, gave birth to Hannah this year. And our nephew, Maddox, turned 1. And our dear Patty, who has been suffering with terminal cancer for over a year, fell and broke her leg on the 23rd, and her health has been failing rapidly ever since. We fear it is only a matter of days at this point. This will be a very sad note to end on. She has been such a vital person in our lives for the last many years, and for a lifetime for Kelly. She will be missed and is sure to have a dramatic impact on our lives.

A very hectic year is coming to a close. We hope and pray that next year will allow more time together as a family, and less stress as well. We pray that all our friends and family have a happy and prosperous new year as well.