:: blogging: mccord style ::

Worst Husband Ever?!

No. I'm not talking about me.
I'm talking about Steven Fowler.

Who? you might ask?

That British husband up in San Francisco in an episode of Wife Swap that aired a couple weeks back. If you'd like to watch the whole thing, you can watch them here.

Too long? Here's a summary video.

Kelly and I just so happened to watch this particular episode. If I can describe this man in one word, ...hmm, I'll put it this way - I've never been so disgusted with another human being in my life!

No! you say. He can't have been THAT BAD! To which I say this. How many other Wife Swap participants have their own "America does not want you Steven Fowler" tee shirts? How many Wife Swap participants have their own "Steven Fowler Sucks" websites?

So here's the deal.

The kind and loveable, albeit not terribly informed, "Long" family from Missouri sends Gayla to go live in San Francisco. The Long family, unfortunately, is a fairly stereotypical redneck family. Proud, overweight Americans who love paint guns, ATVs, and fast food.

The Fowler family lives in San Francisco. They make a LOT of money each year. Renee is a Life Coach, Psychologist, and a couple other things - basically, very well educated. And she uses this education to help people focus their life, specifically to eat healthier and lose weight. Steven works on the boards of a few Environmental groups. The couple is VERY active in the green scene.

So typically, we would have dischord and hilarity would ensue, blah blah blah.
Well, not so much in this episode. Dear Steven knows he is vastly superior in every way to Gayla. And shows Gayla constantly by making fun of her education, her weight, her grammer, her intelligence, her town, Missouri, the Mid West, the Military, and America itself. His abuse is ruthless. He constantly tells his children how ignorant she is. Even goes so far as having his children ignore her because she's incompetent.

I could not stop thinking about this jerk for a couple days. I was truly disgusted.

Well, apparently so was the Internets. The message boards on ABC, and on Yahoo!, and others were flooded with comments about this guy ABC even had to shut down some of the threads on the site because people were so furious with him. But it doesn't stop there. Check out this list of blogs ranting on about this guy. Renee, in SF, has written 2 apology letters to her friends, clients, and the public at large. And finally, Steven has written a public apology letter as well - the site was up earlier today, but now that Yahoo! TV has jumped on the story, the site has gone down.

Her business I'm sure is at a stand still, especially since he bashed overweight people the entire time, and that's what her business is. He is NO LONGER on the 3 environmental boards. People have even gone so far as to publish all their personal information - address, cell phones, office lines, email addresses, etc. (all of which can be seen here I might add). And at one point, "Steven Fowler" was in the top 50 searches on Google! Holy crap!

What are your thoughts on this guy?

Mine? I say this.
The man is obviously VERY SMART, but not too bright.
And as for his superiority complex, I don't think it will be taking him very far any more.
The sad thing is, he pulling down his wife and his kids with him.

This will not end will for this man. I hate to say it, but this guy is FUCKED!

The Lesson? Be nice to people.

Valentines Day Massacre Poem

There are more than 7,893 reasons that my husband rules, and on Valentines Day, he made it more than 7,894, when he gave me, as one of my Valentines gifts, a poem he'd written. For me. He handed me the poem after dinner, and before dessert (he's getting better on timing -- usually if Ross has a gift for me, he can't even wait 'til we're out to dinner, he'll give it to me when I'm in the middle of drying my hair, or just stepping out of the shower. So it's been an ongoing joke (since before we were married) about how whenever he's bought me a present, he gets so eager to give it to me, that he can't stop himself, and I'm always asking him to wait 'til it's a better 'moment,' i.e.  when I'm not brushing my teeth.

So, when he handed over the poem, I was already impressed that he managed to wait until it WAS a perfect moment, and even more shocked, as I started reading, and simultaneously crying my eyes out, and laughing so hard I almost wet myself.  It was such a perfect mix of sweet and tender, and hilariously funny.  It might not be as funny to you, since there are some inside jokes in it, but I thought I'd share it anyway, because well, it rules. And so does he.  This is one of the best gifts I've ever been given (and that's a bold statement considering I've got a 5 carat diamond ring on my jewelry-loving-finger, so you KNOW I love it). =)

Here's the poem Ross wrote me, for Valentines Day...

Kelly, my love, the one I adore
There's no other girl who I could love more

Your eyes, your heart, your wonderful smile
For you I would go the extra one mile

When we first met I was only age twenty
And you thought, and I thought, that we were both so damn funny.

"That girl is pretty!" I thought in my head,
"I'd like to get her into my bed,

"Not only that, she's got a great chest,"
and well, ... you know the rest.

Then in 1998 we picked up our bags
and journeyed to strange and foreign lands.

From the ghosts in Bath to the sunburn in Greece,
we got along great, with the greatest of ease.

The following year, In August Nine-Nine,
I finally made you mine, all mine.

14 months later, after an evening of lust
Bella popped out of your uterus

A beautiful child had entered our life
Me, Isabella, Baby-Mama - NO! Wife!

Our family was growing, we were having such fun.
But we were too small, still short by one.

Along came Sofia, she grew in your belly
A wonderful girl we call little Kelly.

Years later we thought, "Let's add one more"
And so we got Pippin, who shits on the floor.

Been over 8 years since we first tied the knot,
and I am SO HAPPY with what I have got.

A woman so loving and caring it's true,
Your eyes, skin and hair - a lovely brown hue.

I cherish you from your head to your toes
and will readily crush all of your foes.

You make me feel wanted, happy and safe
I'll hold you so tight, let's hope it won't chafe.

You're a wonderful mother to our kids 1 and 2
with gentleness and love when they both have the flu.

A beautiful woman on the outside and in,
my heart goes a flutter when I see you grin.

Our future is bright for hearts such as ours,
I'm so glad we don't hang out at bars
    (well, except for "The 'jammer" that one's a bash
    it's fun to hang out with all the white trash)

This new year is going to be awesome, you'll see -
we'll be stuck to each other, like the honey and bees.

Our time as a family, increased once more
Ross, Kelly, Isabella, Sofia - that's four!

To sum up this poem, I just want to say
that to God I give thanks almost every day

Your beauty and love, they fill up my soul,
like some kind of tasty casserole.

I love you my Kelly, my darling, my wife
You make worth living, this now wonderful life.

(now let's get dessert and ditch this pop-stand
and go right on home to play some Rock Band®)

I was literally crying my eyes out, and laughing so hard, I think the table next to us thought I might be mental, but I loved it so much, it was like a Dr. Seuss poem about our relationship, and it was both hysterical, and so wonderfully sweet. The reason the last 2 stanzas are in gray, was because they weren't intended to be part of the 'official' poem, but Ross thought it was funny, so added it in.  See? Awesome. I'm a lucky girl. =)

How Annoying Is It?

That your husband keeps beating you to the punch about what you want to rant about?

The answer is...

VERY annoying.

That being said, I highly recommend you go read this long (and informative/heartbreaking) post about the Terry Schiavo case.

I've mentioned before (but am too beat to go searching the archives right now) how much this case just fires me up. So since I didn't get my rant in on time, go read my husband's by clicking here -- he ripped it up.

Date

Alrighty folks. We got Kelly's surgery scheduled today. It's going to be on March 2nd - not even 2 weeks away. Of course we are very excited. A bit scared, but still excited. The team at Stanford will be removing a disc, and inserting new bone in there, which will fuse the lowest vertebrae and the tailbone like bone together. They will then insert pins and screws into the  2 remaining vertebrae above that. Typically they would just do the one, but due to the severity of Kelly's situation, they need to do two of them - this will help pull everything back into alignment.

Thank you all for your prayers and calls and letters of support. Things are moving along swimmingly.

Exhaustion

Since things haven't been crazy enough for us lately, we thought we'd pile on the exhaustion a bit more. As previously mentioned, Sofia got sick yesterday. Very tired, emotional - just not herself. Also throwing up and a fever. Well, last night things got pretty bad, and Sofia decided to scream at the top of her lungs all night in malcontent. She slept for a total of about 20 minutes after I drove her around in the car for awhile (5:50am - 6:10am). We tried everything to get her to settle down - food, tv, cuddling in various positions. It was brutal. We took her to a doctor's appointment this morning - a walk in, and turns out she has another ear infection. We got her some medicine and hopefully things will be better. I left home today at noon to drive over the hill, went to a store, went to my client meeting, and got back from San Jose at about 2:45 (yes, I drove pretty fast). Sofia woke up from her 30 minute nap moments after I left, and was awake screaming until I got home. Needless to say, that wore Kelly out even more. So we're going on NO sleep. But looking forward to ICU tonight, and hopefully a good nights rest. Pray for sleep.

Hey - Remember Us?

So, it's obviously been awhile since Kelly, or I for that matter, have posted to this site. Kelly has asked me to give you all a big apology, and then an update as to what is going on.

As you know, Kelly had surgery about 1 month ago, and during that time had a decent amount of endo removed, as well as her appendix. She was/is continuing to heal from this surgery, and, as far as we know, is progressing nicely.

However, just over 1 week ago, her back started giving her some serious pain. And last friday, we finally went to go see a recommended chiropractor to check it out. And here's what we've found. Kelly has what is called Spondylolisthesis, which is wisely called by those in know, "spondi." Spondylolisthesis is a very bad thing. It is caused by a major trauma sometime earlier in life, and results in the combination of a stress fracture to part of the vertebrae, and in Kelly's case, some very serious soft tissue damage. In an Xray, you can usually follow a nice straight line down the spine, each vertebrae lined up quite accurately below the one before it. With "Spondi" however, Kelly's bottom most vertebrae is not at all lined up. The bottom most vertebrae is actually significantly closer to the stomach than it should be. There are for stages of "spondi," maybe five, depending on the doctor, and whether or not a Stage 5 Spondi, can even be called Spondi since the damage in that instance is so severe. Kelly has stage 4. Basically the worst you can have. All the younger interns and newer chiropractors in the office are commenting to us how Kelly's Xray is like something they would see in a text book, and for all of them - it is the worst case they have ever seen personally.

Now of course, this would help explain why when Kelly shoots a wedding, she pretty much out of commission for the next 2 days, recovering with her sore back. In this instance, because of weekend abdominal muscles from the surgery, her back muscles began to over compensate, and the disc there got really, really inflamed. She is constantly icing her back, and trying different stretches and movements to help the back begin to relax and ease up. Thus far, not too much luck. The other difficult thing is that because she is in so much pain, she is not sleeping well. She tends to be up many hours each night, which then requires her to catch up on sleep later in the day or afternoon. Movement is painful. Non-movement is painful. And poor Kelly is constantly needing additional icy-hot or tiger-balm or whatever to help ease the pain. How this will affect our up and coming Disneyland trip - we do not know. Needless to say, Kelly is getting scared that she will be unable to participate in the trip we have been planning for the last several months. Please pray for her, and send her an email to say HI.

On my side, I've just been slammed with work. I have had 3 websites launch within the last 9 days.
Milkdudz

MMIR

Cramer Design

Also, due to the doctor visits, and extra attention needed for Kelly, the kids, and additional errands, my daily work hours have dropped quite a bit. This means the majority of my work needs to get done between 9 to 10 pm (after the kids are asleep) and 2am. Between 2am and 6am I am usually up a couple times with either one or both of the kids, and occassionally helping Kelly out. Sometime between 6-7am, the kids are waking up, and I do my best to wake-up with them, and get them downstairs quietly so Kelly can sleep.

We've had tremendous help from Gail and Patty watching our kids everyday. We wouldn't be able to do it without them. They've been such a blessing during this crazy time.

Hopefully things will be able to settle down soon for us. We trust that Kelly's health will continue to improve, and my work will continue to be steady, and manageable.

Thank all of you for your continued thoughts and prayers. It's been a month since surgery, and I am unsure how we are still able to function on a daily basis. I know this strength not coming from within me, but from the Lord and your prayers for us.

So, if you're wondering why we've been a bit out of the loop on things lately, now you know.
It's just about 2am, almost my bedtime, so I bid you adieu.

Who should you vote for?

Find out here!

Flash site of the day.

DORKSTORM

DorkStorm: The Annihilation

I guess I am not the big dork I thought I was. Don't get me wrong, I am still a dork, but apparently in a much lower echelon of existence than the folks mentioned in the url above. Though, I could get a little of #10, #7, and #3 under my XL utility belt.

(special thanks to Aaron Herkomer)

The Empire

So, random thoughts have been entering my head lately. (no surprise there I know). Must be a combination of sleep deprivation, work, boredom, and sleep deprivation, and on top of that, I don't think I've been sleeping very much either.

So, there are many people in the world who see the U.S. as an evil empire; trying to take over the world, use all of its resources, force its way of life on all cultures, etc. Internally, it's lying to its citizens, taxing them to heavily, creating an ever increasing gap between the very rich and the poor, and just overall, taking advantage of its citizens for their gain in power - not sure how this differs from the EU, but I digress.

Living in a Appendix-Free World, and I am an Apprendix-Free Girl

Actually, I am a boy. Writing on behalf of a girl. My girl. My girl who is named Kelly. Who is laying in bed in massive amounts of pain.

As some close friends are aware, Kelly went into surgery on thursday for her laprioscopy. The event took place in Menlo with the very skilled Dr. Cook. Total surgery and recovery time lasted about 3.5 hours. During surgery, they removed all traces of the endomitriosis and also her appendix. She will be out of commission for the next couple weeks.

We watched the exploratory video the Dr's took of Kelly's innards. It was crazy seeing all those parts in there. The craziest part being when the camera showed 2 knives jam inside her innards. All of a sudden, this dagger comes in from nowhere, and is replaced by some futuristic chopstick which shoots water, vacuums out fluids, and shoots a laser to burn off the internal fleshy parts. Watching this video helped me realize how much pain my wife was in. Imagine this laser burning off your flesh while a little metal set of pliers rips it off, and then melts the two remaining parts back together with its superheat.